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Jokes

An insect fell into a mug of beer

An insect fell into a mug of beer
Englishman : Throws his mug away and walks out
American :

Takes the insect out and drinks the beer

Chinese : Eats the insect and throws the beer away
Indian : Sells the beer to the American and insect to the Chinese and gets a new mug of beer...
Pakistani :

Accuses the Indian for throwing insect into his beer relates the issue to Kashmir: asks the Chinese for military aid and takes a loan from the American to buy one more mug of beer.




Rent for Apartment

Rent for Apartment A business man met a beautiful girl and asked her to spend the night with him for $500. And she did.
Before he left in the morning, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but that he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment RENT FOR APARTMENT
On the way to the office, he regretted what he had done, realising that the whole event was not worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque for $250 and enclosed a note:
Dear Madam
Enclosed you will find a cheque in the amount of $250 for the rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon because when I rented the apartment I was under the impression that:
1. it had never been occupied
2. that there was plenty of heat
3. that it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.
Last night, however, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasnt any heat and that it was entirely too large.
Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:
Dear Sir,
First of all, I cannot understand how you expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space. The apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you dont have enough furniture to fill it, please dont blame the landlord .



TEACHER, TEACHER, TEACHER!

TEACHER, TEACHER, TEACHER! On a special teacher's day. a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shooked it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is...flowers.
"That's right!" said the boy. "But how did you know?" Just a wild guess, she said.
The next pupil was the candy store owner's daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shooked it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is... a box of candy.
"That's right!" But how did you know?" asked the girl.
"Just a lucky guess," said the teacher.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher held it over her head but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and tasted it. "Is it wine?" she asked. "No, the boy replied.
The teacher repeated the process, touching another drop of the leakage to her tongue. "Is it champagne?" she asked. "No," the boy replied. The teacher then said, "I give up, what is it?"

The boy replied, "A puppy!"


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