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 Letting
Go
Dealing with "Breaking up" is a difficult thing to do but
one has to realize that whatever happens is for the best.
You have to learn to deal with the situation that your lover
is no more there in your life…..he is gone and you have to
learn to forget him and live your life. You have to let go
and move on. It's the crucial step in moving on to a healthy
life. The following list gives you some tips and exercises
that can help you with the process:
1. The first thing that you have to do is practice "Thought
controlling". It's normal to have recurring thoughts about
your ex. One way to do it is to decide on a specific time
of day where you will give yourself over to the thoughts.
At that time think about your ex and think about someone else
you like. Again think about him and then think about your
work. By doing this you will learn to control your thoughts.
If you find yourself obsessing at other times, force yourself
to "change the channel" in your brain, or pick yourself up
and do something constructive - listen to your favourite music,
take a walk, exercise, water the plants, etc.
2. Instead of lamenting the end, celebrate it. Put on some
music, throw a party for yourself, jump up and down, and yell,
"Thank God he is out of my life!"
3. Call all your friends and have them pep you up. Get your
pals on the phone and ask them to remind you of all your wonderful
traits. Let them take your side and tell you how wonderful
you are.
4. Deal with the situation pragmatically. If you were involved
in a relationship with a married man and he refuses to leave
his wife for you. You know that he loves you very much, but
he can't leave because he is worried about his kids, his business,
and his wife. This situation is quite natural and expected
so if only you had looked at the situation logically from
the beginning, you wouldn't have been as devastated as you
are after he leaves you. While it will be stupid to punish
yourself, you should have been prepared for the possibility.
5. Reaffirm that you deserve to be treated well. Go over all
the sides of the story. Was he mean, cruel, insensitive? And
then tell yourself that you deserve better.
6. Keep a sense of humor. Research has shown that laughter
strengthens the immune system. So laugh and forget your pain.
7. Flush out your anger. Write your ex a letter, pouring out
your hurt, disappointment, and anger -- but don't send it.
Or else think he is in front of you and then pour out your
anger on him or pour out your anger on a punching bag. That's
a good way to purge your feelings.
8. Rebuild trust. Don't generalize men as "MCP". Of course,
trust gets shattered after you're hurt, but try to forget
the past and keep a clean slate. If you live in fear, imagining
that all men are unfaithful and are not trustworthy, this
is the reality that you will create. Be open to new relationships
and learn to trust people who are trustworthier, and who are
worthy of your trust.
9. Most important thing is "Don't blame yourself for what
happened". It is not your fault that your ex left you. He
is just not good for you and he doesn't deserve you.
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