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Fisherman
Wife wanted, must be able to dig,
clean, cook worms and clean fish. Must have own boat
with motor. Please send photograph of motorboat.
Salesman
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the original,
genuine article. One of the most handsome and smartest
bachelor's around is now looking for a wife. And you
could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own house, car
and successful career!
Economist
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my
requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my
demands should not bear too heavy a burden upon the
national interest.
Mathematician
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must
be numerate and understand complex algebraic logarithms.
Needed to help further my family unit.
IT Consultant
Well there is definite room for improvement in my life.
The speed of my current flows of information and processes
is slowing down and the injection of a wife into my
life is bound to improve efficiency. Compatibility could
be an issue.
Businessman
Wife wanted for company.
Politician
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the
ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and
to build upon past differences and short comings. I
believe that we the people need someone to share our
lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the
social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society................. (etc etc and never getting
to the point)
Car
Dealer
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife. Should
be in excellent working condition.
Farmer
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breading.
Lawyer
I hereby propose to solicit myself as
an eligible candidate for the post of wife after marriage.
The person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a
girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with evidence
to support this view that she is a girl. The girl should
be willing to surrender to the service and jurisdiction
of My Lord i.e. Myself.
Any objections would be overruled and will not be sustained.
Apply in limited confidence as all liabilities are null
and void in the event of failure on our part of any
kind whatsoever.
Pilot
Wife required to complete my life. Please only level
headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the
clouds, but have her feet firmly on the ground. Her
heart must be in it for the long haul. And she absolutely
must also be aerodynamically sound!!!
Banker
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me
with her service.
Shaayar
Burri muddat keh baad eik arazoo jaagi hai,
Key hum bee shaadi shooda ho jaayeh,
Kya bahaana shaadi karaney ka............... joh kurrey
sarey sarey,
Yeah mai butaatah hoon .........
Kyoon key yaroo ub khud ghur keh kaam hotah nahee sarey
sarey.
Accountant
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head
for figures. She must be averse to making unnecessary
expenditure and her very nature should be one of generating
as few expenses in my life as possible. She should profit
from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.
Sharabi
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have
a drinks factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who drinks
only when friends come round. Friends come round only
seven times a week. Girl preferred who can carry me
from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in a bar or send
drinks for trial. Sample should be ample.
Minicab
Driver
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm
calling from base, erm a wife is needed for pick me
up. Driving license not necessary, but map reading skills
are a bonus.
Beggar
Allah kay naam peh koi ek biwi dey dey,
Doosrey kee nahi to upni hee dey dey,
Allah terah balley karrey,
Tujhey ek key balley doh dey dey,
Hillery hogi toh Monika bhi dey dey!
Builder
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of
my life. Must be homely and willing to build relationship
from the ground up.
Doctor
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my
life. However if you feel the need for a second opinion
then it's fine by me.
Army Commando
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.
Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife
and a compass. She who dares wins. Camouflage provided.
RaceCar Driver
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track life.
Must be able to keep pace!
Astronaut
I'm searching for a wife to fill
the space in my life. Someone to share my universe.
Must have looks that are out of this world!
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