How to Save Your Marriage
do you think relationships get bitter to such an extent
that couples just want to run away from them and want
to end everything? Why do they want to forget all the
love that they have for each other and forget all the
good moments that they spent with one another? Why does
their heart get full of hatred and dislike for one another?
Are you also facing such a situation in your relationship
right now? Well if you are then we can help you out
in understanding and solving this problem. Remember
one thing and that is never run away from your problems.
Deal with it and try to fix things. Don't give up and
don't think it's the end. A beautiful relationship,
a loving partner and a trusted husband is all a woman
can dream of so don't just give in to the problems and
end everything and then repent all your life. Try to
save your marriage and relationship.
The marital relationship is a tug of war for power and
control. It is quite natural for one member of the relationship
to experience disappointment, fear, and worry if the
other member is dominant, likes to rule and doesn't
give a damn about your feelings and thoughts. Anger
will then become the predominant emotion, which will
envelop the relationship leaving the couple with a sense
of utter despair, confusion and just feeling hopeless.
At this point, many couples think about leaving the
relationship because they just can't understand how
to deal with the situation for many reasons; the most
common being ego, fear of harm and self-respect. The
impulse to run away is paramount, but the reality is
you can not run away from yourself. It is essential
that you know what your part is in the relationship
that makes it not work for you. When each member of
the couple can face their inner feelings and behaviour
patterns and learns to take responsibility for their
actions and behaviour without blaming one another, the
couple has the opportunity for the marriage or relationship
to be repaired and saved.
Ask yourself a few questions:
What made this conflict start?
What was your role in it? Sometimes unknowingly you
do trigger the conflict and differences between you
and your husband. Though you think that you had nothing
to do with it and it was his entire fault but that's
not the truth. When we are angry we do say things that
hurt peoples self-respect and ego. We may not realise
it at that moment but one harsh word can really wreck
things up and create lot of problems. Though we might
think that our partner deserved it but what we are doing
is instead of trying to solve the problem we are simply
deteriorating it. So think about this question when
you have cooled down and try to figure out your mistake.
Begin to think about how you will begin to take responsibility
for your part in the problem.
Do you listen to what your husband is saying?
Sometimes conflicts arise when you are too busy with
your own work or with kids and household work that you
seem to side track your husband and not listen to what
he has to say. Men are very sentimental and they love
to share their thoughts with their partner be it about
work, about games or politics. The essential aspect
of a healthy relationship is communication and listening
to one another. So ask yourself this question and think
do you really give him time.
Find out what is your role
in triggering the problem/conflict and list them. Work
on changing them one at a time.
Sometimes we are too dominant, aggressive, independent
and we think that we can never be wrong. We are not
ready to accept our follies. Well that can be wrong.
So identify your problems and weaknesses and jot them
down. Try to work on them and try to talk with your
partner and share your feelings about your responsibility
and your part in the problem. Don't expect immediate
results- Be consistent and realistic in your actions
After answering these questions if you think that you
are stuck and don't know what to do you can take help
from councellors. But what ever you do remember one
thing that it is difficult to get a loving and caring
partner so don't throw it away. Try as hard as you can
to save your marriage and relationship if you can and then if you
think it is slipping away then it is definitely not
your fault. Learn to nurture yourself. Do things that
make you feel good both physically and mentally. Making
behaviour and character changes requires a great deal
of energy; therefore, what you need is support from
within and that will happen only if you are relaxed
and calm. Do good thing to yourself and try to love