are many types of extra-marital relationships, and while
all of them are terrible betrayals of the trust and
love between the couple, it directly affects the chances
for survival of the marriage. Affairs are loaded with
romanticism, morality, mythology, and intense emotions.
They're not really about sex, but about pain and fear
and the desire to feel alive. They're also about betrayal.
Affairs need not necessarily wreck a marriage or result
into divorce. Your relationship will in fact be a lot
stronger if you come through this coz what comes out
during the course of an affair is that there were a
lot of problems in your relationship and its time you
sat down together and evaluate where you went wrong.
You are bound to take positive action to solve underlying
problems in order to save your marriage and ultimately
the bond between the two of you strengthens. Before
you can decide what to do with the affair in your life
you need to know what it means and what are its types.
The first kind of affair is what is called as 'One
night stand'. This mostly happens unintentionally
and may not necessarily be a sexual affair at all. It
happens when one person feels ignored in the relationship
and just for some time needs to be away from the tension
and pressure. This kind of a chance encounter is probably
the most survivable of all the extra-marital affairs.
However it is recommended that couples take professional
help because the emotions run so hot that couples often
don't know how to get beyond them.
The next kind of affair is known as the 'Emotional
outbreak affair'. This generally happens when
the marriage is experiencing problems and during those
times one partner turns towards a friend or companion
of the opposite sex for emotional help and comfort.
Thus instead of creating complications one partner involves
himself in an affair to avoid conflict. Rather than
rock the marriage by revealing feelings he thinks you
may not like, your husband adds a third person to diffuse
the intensity. Though this starts with friendship but
most of the time the friendship takes on sexual dimensions.
Surprisingly, these affairs are survivable because in
these cases normally the unfaithful partner though must
have given the body but still loves his spouse and thinks
there are chances of a reunion.
The third kind of affair is known as 'Emotional-Sexual
Affair' and this affair causes lot of
heart break and problems because in such type of affair
the unfaithful spouse not only gives the body but also
the heart and there are slim chances of reunion. Thus
in this case a relationship is all but over and an affair
provides an escape route for one partner to get away.
Thus one spouse has already decided to leave the marriage
and the affair provides the justification.
The next affair is known as 'Sexual
addiction affair'. Sexual Addicts use sex over
and over again to numb inner pain and emptiness, much
like alcoholics use alcohol. Among married people, men
are sexual addicts more often than women. The other
affairs happen because of boredom, lack of communication,
sexual experimentation, to combat a sense of loss that
can come with ageing, depression etc. Thus there can
be a number of reasons to start an extra-marital affair
and a number of causes triggered by one spouse can be
incidental to initiating an affair. What is most important
is to know what has gone wrong in your marriage and
what you can do to undo it. Your cooperation and efforts
is what will save your marriage.