Marriage and Beyond >> Surviving Husband's Affair

There are many types of extra-marital relationships, and while all of them are terrible betrayals of the trust and love between the couple, it directly affects the chances for survival of the marriage. Affairs are loaded with romanticism, morality, mythology, and intense emotions. They're not really about sex, but about pain and fear and the desire to feel alive. They're also about betrayal. Affairs need not necessarily wreck a marriage or result into divorce. Your relationship will in fact be a lot stronger if you come through this coz what comes out during the course of an affair is that there were a lot of problems in your relationship and its time you sat down together and evaluate where you went wrong. You are bound to take positive action to solve underlying problems in order to save your marriage and ultimately the bond between the two of you strengthens. Before you can decide what to do with the affair in your life you need to know what it means and what are its types.

The first kind of affair is what is called as 'One night stand'. This mostly happens unintentionally and may not necessarily be a sexual affair at all. It happens when one person feels ignored in the relationship and just for some time needs to be away from the tension and pressure. This kind of a chance encounter is probably the most survivable of all the extra-marital affairs. However it is recommended that couples take professional help because the emotions run so hot that couples often don't know how to get beyond them.

The next kind of affair is known as the 'Emotional outbreak affair'. This generally happens when the marriage is experiencing problems and during those times one partner turns towards a friend or companion of the opposite sex for emotional help and comfort. Thus instead of creating complications one partner involves himself in an affair to avoid conflict. Rather than rock the marriage by revealing feelings he thinks you may not like, your husband adds a third person to diffuse the intensity. Though this starts with friendship but most of the time the friendship takes on sexual dimensions. Surprisingly, these affairs are survivable because in these cases normally the unfaithful partner though must have given the body but still loves his spouse and thinks there are chances of a reunion.

The third kind of affair is known as 'Emotional-Sexual Affair' and this affair causes lot of heart break and problems because in such type of affair the unfaithful spouse not only gives the body but also the heart and there are slim chances of reunion. Thus in this case a relationship is all but over and an affair provides an escape route for one partner to get away. Thus one spouse has already decided to leave the marriage and the affair provides the justification.

The next affair is known as 'Sexual addiction affair'. Sexual Addicts use sex over and over again to numb inner pain and emptiness, much like alcoholics use alcohol. Among married people, men are sexual addicts more often than women. The other affairs happen because of boredom, lack of communication, sexual experimentation, to combat a sense of loss that can come with ageing, depression etc. Thus there can be a number of reasons to start an extra-marital affair and a number of causes triggered by one spouse can be incidental to initiating an affair. What is most important is to know what has gone wrong in your marriage and what you can do to undo it. Your cooperation and efforts is what will save your marriage.



Marriage and Beyond >> Surviving Husband's Affair

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