he comes home from office pretty late and if asked he
always replies that he was in a meeting. I had even
called up at his office but they told me that he leaves
early. If I try to ask him where he had been he gets
violent. I think he is having an affair"- says Nita
Kapil, a housewife. In a woman's life extra-marital
affair of the husband is the most shattering thing.
An extramarital affair is one of the most painful experiences
that she has to face. But sometimes it is difficult
to even know that your husband is seeing someone else.
By saying this I don't mean that from now on you should
start checking your husband's valet, briefcase and looking
for hair on his shirt or try to smell ladies perfume
on his clothes, etc. What I mean to say that the affair
might be so well camouflaged and carried on that you
might never come to know of it until you get to hear
about it from someone. But still you love and trust
your husband so much that you don't believe it. In that
case you can observe these following steps and see if
the news is true before confronting your husband. But
please do not jump to conclusions without confirming
the news. It might just be a misunderstanding or rumour.
YOU OUGHT TO CHECK FOR EXTRA-MARITAL AFFAIRS:
- There is a sudden upturn
in his demeanor or outlook on life.
- He is constantly late.
This will be an important factor coz if he used to
come home early previously and all of a sudden he
has started coming home late and when asked either
you get no answer or an irrational answer or even
worst he started getting irritated and becomes angry
with you, then something is definitely wrong.
- You notice a sudden increase
or decrease in sexual interest of your spouse. An
illicit affair is as likely to heighten as to lower
his sexual interest in you. Does he want to try out
new and unusual sexual positions?
- He is more possessive
toward his wallet, pocket calendar or briefcase.
- He comes home more often
with alcohol on his breath.
- All of a sudden he starts
talking about getting together with old friends he
hasn't seen in years and about whom he has never spoken
of to you.
- He has started shopping
for new clothes.
- He has started taking
a renewed interest in his looks and appearance.
- He has started keeping
an overnight bag in his car or office, apparently
for a workout.
- While eating out he orders
dishes he had never liked and ordered before.
- He has started working
late and on holidays and weekends.
- He expresses opinions
on subjects he never used to take an interest in.
- He encourages you to
go alone to visit parents or friends.
- He has bought for you
gifts that show a new level of taste or insight about
the opposite sex.
- He makes a point of keeping
the car free of paraphernalia belonging to you or
- He has started attending
extended seminars or going on tours he never used
to attend and go before.
- He has started using
new words and phrases.
- At odd hours he remembers
things he had forgotten to do at the office and wants
to leave immediately.
- He often forgets to wear
the wedding ring.
- He has started to take
the dog out for walks or takes the dog for much longer
walks than he used to.
- He makes more phone calls
late at night.
- He has suddenly taken
up new hobbies or joined some classes or has friends
that take him out of the house in the evenings and
- He talks about a movie
that he has seen but you haven't when normally he
never used to like watching movies or used to go out
for movies only with you.
- He insists on answering
the phone and talks in coded mode if you are around
or is uncomfortable by your presence.
- He calls out a different
name in his sleep or while making love to you. THOUGH
- You can smell perfume
on him which you don't use or smell soap of a different
brand and he seems totally fresh as if he has had
a bath in the evening after coming home from office.