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 In
every relationship, no matter how much you love each
other, sometimes you do get into a disagreement and
have bitter arguments. These arguments though seem quite
logical and justified at that particular moment but
do end up making you and your partner feeling bitter
and hurtful. Therefore you have to take care that your
arguments do not spoil and harm your relationship. The
next time you feel an argument starting to form keep
in mind the following points to handle such a situation.
These argument guidelines will help you deal with the
problem that you are facing without making you feel
bitter and hurtful.
- Don't
talk if you're too emotional about the situation.
Things you say in the heat of the moment have a
way of leaving a damaging mark on your relationship.
Instead of lashing out while you're still emotional,
go out and take a 10 to 20 minute walk. Getting
away from the situation will help you cool off and
gain a much-needed new perspective.
- Give
your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns.
Listening is also important to understand the situation.
Thus listen to what he has to say coz that doesn't
mean that you are agreeing to what he says.
- Make
an extra effort to really understand what you partner
is trying to say. In the heat of the moment you
think that you know what he has to say and that
whatever it is he is wrong. But that might not be
the real state. You could also be wrong. Thus try
to understand him and this will really help you
end the argument far more quickly.
- Don't
say something you'll regret later. Always consider
your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough,
beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it
is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched,
cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the
words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.
- Leave
the past where it belongs...in the past. It is a
natural tendency to want to compare current situations
to other situations that may have occurred in the
past. If you dwell on past occurrences, you'll never
find a solution for the future. By bringing up everything
you don't like about him or what he has done, it
can emotionally push your partner away from you.
Thus don't dig up the past issues and keep your
disagreements about the problem you are actually
dealing with at this time.
- Learn
to compromise. If you can learn to compromise, you'll
find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don't
like something, then agree with your partner to
find some middle ground. This also applies the other
way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions
for things your partner doesn't like as well!
- Talk
about the problem with open heart and finish it
off. Let your partner know exactly when something
upsets you and don't let things build up until you
explode. Certain times we just try to avoid the
problems. It's far too easy to run off and avoid
your partner, or give them the silent treatment.
Instead, make a commitment right now to each other
to respect each other enough to work out the problem
even if it takes all night. Remember never to go
to bed angry.
- Find
a solution to the problem together. Once you've
both identified that there is a problem, and what
the exact problem is, you need to come to a solution
that benefits each other. To do this, each person
should be responsible for coming up with a solution
they feel will end the problem. Share your ideas
and agree to a compromise, if needed, to the situation.
- Make
your relationship with your partner your first concern
when you are in the middle of a disagreement. This
does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise
your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person
you are arguing with is your best friend, lover
and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront
of your mind in an argument you will never end up
hurting each other.
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