Save Your Marriage

There are days when you are in an awful mood and no matter how hard you try, it just wouldn't go. You are constantly shouting on someone or the other. Be it your husband, your children, your maid or your sub-ordinate, if things are not your way, they have had it. Generally your mood is fine while talking with your friends or boss but somehow when it comes to family or your employees, you don't spare them. Does all this sound familiar?

Well, a day or two of bad mood can be accounted for and you can blame it all on PMS. But when there are more bad mood days in a month than good mood days, then there is trouble. Then not only does your relationship suffer but your bad mood can have a long term effect on your spouse and kids. If you have a very understanding and loving family, you might get away with it, but if you have an equally hot headed family, then your relationship has had it. Just remember that your spouse also has issues that he or she would like to discuss with you. If you are consistently in a bad mood then you are blocking communication channels. And that means that emotions and feelings are getting trapped which might be released only by way of an outburst that will only create a rift between the couple.

Causes of Bad Moods?

There can be a number of reasons that cause bad moods. One of them is frustration. If you are frustrated with your work or you do not like the way things are at your work, you tend to take out the frustration on your family. The second reason is anger and irritation. For example, your boss said something hurtful to you. You did not have the guts to reply back and so you swallow the anger and humiliation only to take it out on your near and dear ones. Irritation can be by a near relative also whom your respect and you have to be nice to. Another reason can be rivalry and jealousy. A close friend or your sister or sometimes your spouse (someone close) must be doing very good in life, much better than you are and this is a reason that triggers bad mood. Being left behind or a sense of insecurity and failure takes on, which makes you miserable. That is when you start having bad moods.

What can you do to get rid of your bad moods?

Remember every relationship has a limit to sustain tension and the day you have crossed the limit then your relationship is bound to suffer. It is upon you to exceed and remain within the limits. Sooner or later, the cracks will begin to appear in the marriage. Therefore you need to identify the cause of your bad mood and work towards getting rid of it. Talk to your spouse about your problems instead of bottling them up within and taking out your frustrations on your family. If you are not comfortable talking with your spouse, talk to a friend. Only discussing your problems will make you feel good. You can also consult a psychiatrist.

If your job is not giving you the satisfaction that you crave for, then search for another job. If your boss is a complete jerk, then stand up to him and show him that you are not going to take his crap. Report the matter to his senior, resign from the job or just learn to deal with the matter instead of taking out the irritation on your family and sub-ordinates. If your close relative says something that you don't approve of then just be honest and tell the person about it. If the relative is being hurtful and insulting you in some way then tell him or her to their face, "Excuse me, but I feel you are insulting me and I demand an apology", instead of just treating the whole thing as a joke---which we tend to do often.

In short, deal with your problems in a more reasonable and wise manner. Do not ruin your relationship and family for things that have no meaning. You are very lucky that you have a family that loves and cares about you. Cherish it and bond with it. Don't let love slip away from your hands.

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