Marriage and Beyond >> Your sexlife

Sex Stimulation

It often happens that you are just not in the mood for sex and your husband is totally heated up. He's the one who asks for sex and you're the one who refuses. It might be happening because you must be tired and stressed out or you might be bugged by his begging for sex or just that you do not want sex. After a while, The whole process becomes so boring that you don't even think about whether you want to say no, you just say it - partly because you feel like he's begging, and it bugs you. Sometimes you just give in - have sex just to please him - and this is even worse. You feel used. He feels like you're doing him a favour or just being nice out of pity and he feels insulted. And most important is that neither of you feels the least bit romantic.

Fact: Men have a biological head start when it comes to being ready for sex while It takes a woman 15 minutes to reach the same level of arousal that a guy reaches in three.

Following are a few stimulation techniques that will help you get in the mood in 5 minutes:

Stimulate yourself
Create seduction rituals that turn you on. Try to figure out what exactly turns you on and don't wait for your hubby to do it for you. Many women feel sexier when they slide into a silk or satin gown or let their minds drift in clouds of scent. Take a warm water bath, relax yourself, give yourself sometime for preparation and do things that turn you on.

Fuel your fantasies
There's nothing like a good, steamy fantasy to get you in the mood. The only problem is that good fantasies aren't so easy to generate when you're not really interested in sex. The better way out is watch a video or read something that will ignite you. Keep a few strategic books in the drawer of your nightstand for help. Go to bed early and work yourself up for the moment.

Encourage him to seduce you
Some women get bugged listening to the whining and begging for sex especially when they are not in the mood and their husband is turned on and demand sex. My advice is don't let it get ugly. Be frank and tell him that you do not like that. If he's forgotten how to seduce you, he needs a refresher course. Encourage him to be more verbal, to say not just 'you turn me on' and ' I want to have sex' but tell him to be more expressive. Tell him to say why you turn him on, how you turn him on and how he would prefer to have sex. Encourage him to make efforts to ignite you and this process can be fun for both of you.

Use some bargaining technique

If you are a workingwoman then by the time you finish your work at the end of the day you are absolutely tired and you feel nothing but want to go to sleep. Your desire of sex just dies in your daily routine work - office, kids and household chores. In such circumstances what you can do is use your power to buy time. Trade chores with sex and enjoy each other more than you could even imagine. Just having your hubby help you out will turn you on.

Take matters into your own hands
The quickest, most direct way to make yourself want him is to ignite yourself so much that he really wont have to do anything else but give you his best. For this the best way is to go into the bathroom or bedroom alone and masturbate - just enough to become aroused. Then invite him to join you. Maybe you'll tell him what you've been doing, and maybe you won't. But this will solve the entire problem.

Go ahead and do it
Sometimes just doing it will get you moving on. You feel like you don't want sex, but once you go for it, it will be fun. In fact, you will feel ecstatic. Sometimes, having sex even when you don't feel like it is the best thing you can do.

Following are a few ways that will make you feel sexy:

1) Wear lingerie that flatters you.
2) Wear sexy clothing.
3) Learn more about pleasing your partner.
4) Take a shower together.
5) Accept compliments regarding your looks and abilities.
6) Allow yourself to feel sexy.
7) Plan at least one sensual experience a week for your love.
8) Be the dominant one in your next lovemaking session.
9) Work out.


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